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[Aug. 25th, 2010|01:02 am] |
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i guess.. all that matters now is you. <3 |
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| (no subject) |
[Aug. 22nd, 2010|12:39 am] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  cheerful | ] |
Then again.. he has the ability to make me realise.. maybe i'm thinking too much... meeting him.. looking at him... hearing him.. it makes me realise that he loves me and i'm just being over-sensitive :D |
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| the reason why i'm speechless... |
[Aug. 21st, 2010|01:36 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  annoyed | ] |
My mood had been alternating much.
So how now my love... You've came and went away... Got me hopeful and now bahhh.. i fall back down to the ground. is there anything that you didn't tell me about? is there anything that i should know? i was really hoping that you'll come home with me... to show me that there's nothing wrong with us. but well... you didn't. But i can't blame you right? you needed to help your mum. are we like that cux of "that"? is that important to you? than how bout me.. i waited for you cux of all your reasons. i'm tired of guessing what's on your mind. i'm tired of always trying to meet you, trying to hint you that i miss you.
so now... it's tuesday.. the day that i'm gg to take my jab again... haiis. i'm sorry but i cant help but have selfish thoughts. unfair accusations.
maybe you'll get angry when you read this post or sad... but i beg you to please step into my shoes and think. dun accuse me of not thinking for you. cux if i didn't, i wouldn't have tolerated it all along. maybe there's nothing you can do. but i guess i just needed to rant. i'm sorry for not justifying your point of view. and not giving credit for the happiness that you bbrought me in this post. cux again.. sometimes.. my patience run thin and i need to let out some steam.
i diss going to church on saturday and i mean it. i mean. i dun like interrupted saturday afternoons. and i mean it k. i SERIOUSLY hate it. ):< of all days.. saturday. FUCK. call me a lousy christian. wadever. seriously. |
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| (no subject) |
[Aug. 19th, 2010|02:47 pm] |
and i tot i was going to get answers today..
there's a feeling that i shouldn't be feeling. can it just release me??? _l_ |
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| blank but sad... |
[Aug. 19th, 2010|11:25 am] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  blank | ] |
it's the number idk times that i'm typing and deleting my text away. isit cux my mind is blank? but my heart's not feeling well.. it feels.. sad. and i don't know why. maybe it's fear.. or maybe i'm just empty. i feel lost. |
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| (no subject) |
[Aug. 18th, 2010|03:46 pm] |
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i just feel like crying. |
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| (no subject) |
[Aug. 17th, 2010|01:32 am] |
下. haiis.. i dun even noe why sometimes i feel like crying for no reason. prolly the way my body reacts to mental "tiredness" like how homeostasis works. Maybe it's like withdrawal symtoms from alcohol deprivation. Damn. i miss the taste of beer and shots of hard liquors. i miss the feeling to hardcore beering and dunking shots.
mum called today. just to tell me something. something that i dun wanna hear. something that i prolly knew. something tat i'm prolly afraid of facing.
Need to get my jab soon. Maybe wednesday morning. maybe i'll go get bangs tmr.
i suddenly realise how long it was since i ever sit down with someone to slack and just talk bout things that are bothering us. it'd been ultra long. i tink it's prolly cux... like the older u are. the less one will be willing to share.
Just maybe... i just feel like giving up... |
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| no. |
[Aug. 11th, 2010|01:38 am] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  lethargic | ] |
burdened by my internal struggles. weakened by my lousy lifestyle. fear, by so many other things.
signs are not positive. but i believe it's just a false alarm like how it happened before. so i'm not going for a checkup. no.
PS. i hate this emo nemo me. _l_ there are reasons. but they may be excuses. but then again. i am. truely affected by these "reasons". so... are they reasons or excuses? |
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| (no subject) |
[Aug. 11th, 2010|12:26 am] |
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Sometimes i wonder if it's just me. being unreasonable. or possessive. or demanding. |
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